Grand Theft Photo (Appropriation, OK!)
in photography, The Window, prints
art toronto
The Girl. The Vampire. The Murder. The End. (The Window photo series pt 46)
TL; DR: serendipitous scenes for imagined movies (The Window pt 46)
An animé character escapes from her simplistic cartoon into the real world to see a rainbow, fall in love, have sex, fart, and sword fight, not necessarily in that order, before she gets rewritten.
After a simple pitch goes horribly wrong, the surviving salesmen begin to suspect that one of them faked their Six Sigma sales-course certificate.
MORE — SEE THE REST OF THE IMAGES FOR THE BELOW AT K.I.A. SUBSTACK HERE: LINK
An influencer unwittingly records a murder in the window behind her and has to outsmart the criminals, the cops, the CIA, and social media to stay alive and get a brand sponsorship…
The motorbike. The heist. The woman. The betrayal. The chase. The roadblock. The discussion about Plato’s cave, simulation theory, and whether AI-generated virtual realities should be pre-decolonized by large language models rewriting user requests. The shootout. The end….
With a murder about to occur in the fishnet industry, six undercover policemen — one Black, one Indigenous, one white, one South Asian, four Women, two LGBTQ2SIA+, one Questioning, one and a half Deaf, and two from Quebec, one of them a curve model and the other Muslim — investigate.
Time-tourists travel back from the far future in their Chronobago only to find they are tiny in size compared to 21st century humans, and are also parked illegally. After their argument with the traffic cop goes viral on WorldStarHipHop, they must evade competing oligarchs muscling them to start a podcast, do a terrarium residency in Vegas, use their tiny hands in artisanal cobalt mines, and/or tell them how much Bitcoin is going to be worth in two years, not necessarily in that order, all before their impounded temporal recreational vehicle is sold off at a police auction, stranding them hundreds of years from home.
LL Cool J’s elite NSA vampire SEAL team secretly reunites to stop a shadowy cabal of NWO WEF scientists from using AI to hijack the CERN collider in order to flatten the Earth into a 15 minute city, but first they must trace some NFTs back to ISIS, battle UN undeads, avoid NASA NPCs, and race to stay ahead of international sunrises.*
An unemployed and depressed android comes to Earth to find work at Chick-fil-A, win at Chemin de Fer, and take up capoeira — oh, and stop the apocalypse with his rabo de arraia.
A man lives with no account of Time; no Arts; no Letters; no Society; and which is worst of all, continuall feare, and danger of violent death; And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short,** necessarily in that order.
The angel Raguel comes to Earth to decide The End and sees that things are pretty good actually compared to every other era ever, so flies back to heaven.
NOTES:
-*Rotten Tomatoes review by RoyalWee2 for Vampires VS: IV — 🍅 “Good, but not spectacular enough, nor intimate enough, to really impress us. We get fatigued (although it is LL’s most relatable performance since episode 133 of NCIS: Hawai’i)”
-** from Thomas Hobbes' book Leviathan, 1651 (not coming soon to a theatre near you)
-for the international readers, the equation for Chronobago is: Time + Winnebago
-”Chemin de Fer” is a form of the gambling game baccarat, which is also known as punto banco; coincidently, all three have been used as nom de queere on Rupaul’s Drag Race; two by contestants, and one by a judge (Punto Banco.) “Rabo de arraia” is a capoeira kick, inverted and over the head, like a stingray’s strike. It was not used as a pseudonym on Drag Race. (It was used in “Pose” season 3 for a side character).
-good news: because the film has been pre-decolonized, the Academy has awarded the “Untitled Fishnet Crime” movie a 2025 Oscar
-”The chase. The desert. The shack. The girl. The roadblock. The end.” is the famous tagline on the original movie poster for the 1971 film Vanishing Point
-The angel. The descent. The judgement. The end.
-as always, all the photos are of real people caught in candid moments as they walk by The Window, (with no photoshopping, just color adjustments), and are the art, with the words (these words) always subordinate — especially when they are humorous. or "humorous”. (See the “How Far the Man” post for something more serious. Or “serious”.)
-the inspiration for this post came after seeing the above be-suited business guys walking just like:
Bonus image: (pinch up to magnify the billing block easter eggs):
The end.